Brad's Tropical Paradise

I love having artificial turf here at the Tropical Paradise. It looks great, never needs water, never needs to be mowed, and the list goes on and on of why I like it, and why it was a great investment over ten years ago. But a lot of people ask me a delicate question - which is how is it for a dog to, uh, go? It's great. And I'll tell you why. Artificial turf isn't indoor-outdoor carpeting. It's designed to allow rainwater, and anything else on it, to flow through. There are holes. And that means that when your dog goes on it, it flows into the gravel base below it. It's good to rinse it every once in a while, but that's all you have to do. I have a hose over by the side of the house for that. The doggy-doo-doo, as you can see, sits right up on it, and all you gotta do is scoop it up and give it a quick rinse. So yes, it's dog-friendly - my dog does her business on it, and it's easy for me to clean up. I keep a pooper-scooper by the side of the ho...

Hyacinths do great in the Phoenix, Arizona area. In fact, they do great in any southwestern city, from here to Las Vegas, San Diego, and Los Angeles. They bloom in the winter! I've had them here, on and off, at the Tropical Paradise in Glendale (a suburb of Phoenix) for over twenty years, and I've learned a few tricks that makes things easier for me. First of all, wait until the weather cools off, just a bit. No, you don't have to wait until winter, but at least wait until fall. It's September 27th as I'm planting this morning, and it was in the 70s in the morning, but it's still getting to about 100 during the day. But that's fine - by the time your hyacinth plants start to really grow, in a week or so, the weather will be just perfect. So the lesson here is to not plant them too early in the season, or the little plants will burn up, but don't wait too long, as you'll want them to have enough size to bloom in the cooler months, which will be N...

I love having a garden, and caring for it. It's my favorite place to be, and when I'm not there I will visit other gardens. What can I say? I like gardens! Some gardens are so spectacularly beautiful, and so well-cared for and designed that they take my breath away. My favorite garden in the whole wide world is the Huntington, in Los Angeles. Of course I'm glad to visit your garden, and chances are that you're making so many mistakes it makes me sad. I know it's rude for me to be invited to your garden, and after listening to you talking about how things just don't seem to grow for you, etc. to up and say, "You're doing it wrong!", so I'll write it here. And here are the top three things that you're doing wrong in the garden: 1) Poor access to plants. I've seen people trying to step through their garden, accidentally squishing things, or maybe twisting an ankle. That's no fun. Your garden should be designed so that you can ...

There are many reasons why your plants are dying, and one of them may be simply that you're an idiot. No, of course I won't ever say that to you, but I can tell if you are an idiot by how you talk about your failures in the garden. And the good news is that if you're an idiot, and that's the reason your plants are dying, it's an easy fix. Every once in a while people will start to tell me that no matter what they do, their plants all die. They take their receipts back to Home Depot, buy more plants, and those die. And I listen politely, especially if I think that they're going to buy the next beer. I do a lot of nodding and smiling and saying, "Wow, that's terrible! Ain't that always the way? And yes, I'll have another beer." And then I test the waters by asking about cultural requirements. That is, does the person I'm talking to know about how to cultivate a particular plant? The amount of water it needs, sunlight requirements...

As someone who is a collector of cycads, and has been for many years, I can easily recognize the difference between a palm tree and a cycad. In the photo at the top of this post, the taller plant in the center is a palm, and the other plants, that look like small palm trees, are actually cycads. And so you might say, "Ah ha! Cycads are smaller!" Well, not all of the time. You usually see cycads smaller, like what I have in my backyard, but they can get bigger. So just because a palm tree-looking plant is small doesn't mean it's a cycad. It might, after all, just be a small palm tree. If you're getting frustrated now, calm down. When I became a graphic design teacher, back in the '90s, I quickly realized what was very obvious to me was often absolutely invisible to the untrained eye. Experts get that way, and can be impatient with people who aren't experts. I would just tell my students the same thing that I'm telling you now, spend some time obs...